Wednesday, February 10, 2016

Guwe Lagi Baper

So tonite I'm feeling really blue,
my "taking it slow" behavior was really give me a slap in my face.
I feel I lost so much, I feel small, insignificant, I feel bad, I even hate my self.
I don't want to put to much detail in here, let say tonite I got a lesson, life lesson, that cost me so much. Every time I got another lesson, I really paid it too much.

Pas lagi baper bapernya, eh pas banget dengerin lagu Geisha yg ost nya Single. judulnya
'Sementara Sendiri' 
rese banget kan, dr judulnya aja, eh lirik nya donk, ahh perih.
Lebih mending ditolak, drpd ngerasain yg gw rasain ini.
Rasanya sakitnya mirip sama kalo dimainin ama seseorang,
tp kalo dimainin lu sakit karna benci, emosi, KZL.
Tapi kalo yg gw rasain ini BAPER, tp ga ada yg bs dibenci, selaen diri gw sendiri, bangkay kan. I hate this sort of feeling, where you feel you can't do anything about, trus mo cari pelarian, safe bet, atau anything that can calm this feeling FAST!

It's past midnite now, but I still want to let it out my UNEK-UNEK. Harus nya gw tidur sih, karena gw tau RASA ini kl uda dibawa tidur pasti besokannya ga terlalu gimana2 lagi, a bit better sih, emg TIME can heal everything, tp terkadang someone new can make the process more smoother and less painful.

Mungkin nanti gw bakal nyesel kayanya nulis kaya gini, cemen yah let it be for a while,
Setidaknya gw ga posting di sosmed2 kaya alay, I just need to say something, or write something.
I'll hide this post later on, kl uda ga galau.

In the mean time, here is the full lyric

Geisha - Sementara Sendiri
Terpaksa aku sendiri
Sementara saja kini
Bersabar kan datang hari
Meskipun ku lelah
Aku takut kamu tak mengerti
Caraku sampaikan rasa ini
Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat ungkapkan rasa
Agar kamu kan percaya begitu ku butuh cinta
Kembali lagi terulang
Tergores hatiku ini
Setelah lama menyimpan rasa ini
Terlalu dalam, terlalu dalam
Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat ungkapkan rasa
Agar kamu kan percaya begitu ku butuh cinta
Ajarkan aku tuk bisa dapat merangkai kata
Agar kamu kan dengarkan bibirku katakan cinta sekarang
Aku takut kamu tak mengerti caraku sampaikan rasa ini
Kamu tak mengerti
Agar kau percaya
Aku butuh cinta
Merangkai kata
Bibirku katakan cinta sekarang
Ku benci sendiri, ku benci sendiri, takut gagal terus begini

Ps: bukannya alay makanya font nya beda2 tapi yg gw pikir relevan bgt sama gw sekarang ya gw gedein atau gw bold, garis bawahin atau gw bikin italic.

Cia Yo!


Monday, March 3, 2014


"We suffer, often unknowingly, from wanting to be in two places at once, from wanting to experience more than one person can. This is a form of greed, of wanting everything. Feeling like we're missing something or that we're being left out, we want it all. But being human, we can't have it all. The tension of all this can lead to an insatiable search, where our passion for life is stirred, but... never satisfied. When caught in this mindset, no amount of travel is enough, no amount of love is enough, no amount of success is enough.

I am not saying that we shouldn't explore our curiosity and venture into the unknown. I very much want to experience the world and love to encounter new people in my life. What I'm referring to here is that seed of lack that makes us feel insufficient, and then, somehow, to compensate, we start to race through life with one eye on what we have and one eye on what we don't.

Greed is not restricted to money. It can work its appetite on anything. When we believe we are behind or less than, we somehow start to want more than we need, as if what we don't have will fill in our pain and make us feel whole, as if the thing we haven't tasted will be the thing to bring us alive. The truth is that one experience taken to heart will satisfy our hunger to be loved by everyone."

Monday, January 7, 2013

Jakarta Jember Festival

Old stock
Taken when Jakarta fashion festival


Jakarta Jember Festifal

Rooftop Sunset

Taken on my old office building, in tebet area, south jakarta..

Miss u guys, miss playing card in manager office, miss bonding time when the electricity down, miss playing games with y'all :D


Rooftop Sunset

City Escape

In this city that I living in,
where jungle made of concrete,
limited open space
I need someplace that can clear my mind
I need a place that can be my solitude
my fortress of zen..
and this place is one of them..

The Zen Bridge

Light Through Darkness

This is one of nicest church I found in jakarta so far,

wish I can come to join mass in here someday.


Light through darkness

Monday, December 31, 2012


So..just minutes till last day of 2012
Makes me reflect what did i do this year.
One thing for sure is..I'm such a hedon in this year. I splurge a lot, so much more than I did years before, not that a bad thing since i rarely regret what I bought. And I tend to keep this going for next year.hehe..joking aside maybe I need to saving a bit, but not as thrifty as I before. I tend to keep it chillax nowdays. Not worry abt material stuff. Trying to find my inner peace, my balance.

Aside from that. I change my job this year sadly still not really happy with the job. But I got what I wanted which is close from home. So I can back to house whenever I needed,to check up things or just to have lunch. Hopefully next year I can find job that make me happy. Hey job not always need to be boring,rite?

Plus I travel quite a lot this year. Thanks God for that.not as much as I wanted to, but considering my new job and my so what called annual leave,and a bit difficult to get permit to leave now. I still thankful for a slight escape of boredom. And can't wait for next year trips. ^ ^

My passion of photography began to grow.after i lost it in this concrete jungle. Even though im still a noob. And i think i need to upgrade gears sometimes next year,we'll see :)

I starting to hang out more often. Even not much. Maybe it's because I had more time for my self since I'm single this year. I still miss her now and then. But I think this is the best for her, for both of us. Since now I need alot attention for my problems rite now. It's not fair for her if we keep the relationship going.
My bestfriends either getting married or having a child. I'm happy but at the same time sad. I just hope that I can find someone to share my thought, my ups and down,and to make me a better person.

And for sports beside the occasional jogs,swin. I do fitness, capoiera ,muay thai, and mixed martial art. But all already stop because of my busy schedule. Hopefully next year I can be more healthy and do sports more often.

And after my nomaden lifestyle that I occupy since last year, now I can proudly stay at my own house.sure it's not as I wanted to be, and lot's of thing that's still need to be taken care. But afterall blood and tears that been shed. I'm just glad that I can get over that chapter of my life.

This year I think I've became much mature. More aware of what life's can bring you. But I still like this year more than last year.

So..2013..please be good to me ;)

And to all my readers I wish u all a merry xmas and a happiest new year :)